


Choices

by EjBlaKit



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Following Starkiller, One Shot, Rey Kenobi, The desire to go home, Who am I?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 12:36:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6854854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EjBlaKit/pseuds/EjBlaKit





	Choices

How long had it been, on this small island, surrounded by infinite ocean? She sat and stared up at stars she didn't recognise, thousands of systems spiralling to their own machinations. Weeks? Months? Years? Time moved slowly here, the days long, seasons longer.

They were at the edge of nowhere.

She could feel nothing

Sense nothing.

Jakku had been isolating.

This planet was desolation.

Fire light danced at the top of the mountain, dancing red against ancient rock face. She sighed heavily and hugged her knees, not for the first time wondering if what she was doing was right. Shouldn't she be back with the Resistance? With her brave Stormtrooper? A flicker of a smile across her face as she squeezed her palm, remembering the young fool who had grabbed her hand to help her run. He should be okay now, the wounds had been deep, but the doctors had been confident.

'You're concentrating on everything you shouldn't be.' She jumped violently at his voice, hadn't heard him descending the endless staircase.

'It's impossible,' she mumbled sullenly, refusing to look at him. 

'It's in there, Rey. You know it to be true.' 

'How?' She asked flatly, finally turning her head to look up at him. He gazed back evenly, the moons light peeking under the cowl of his hood. 'Jedi's are bound to celibacy. You told me that.' 

'He was on Tatooine for a long time, and no Jedi is a saint. We know that, especially now.' She was angry, could feel it curling in her gut. To come all this way, to find a legend, to become his unwanted pupil, to discover that your family was dead. Perhaps Jakku _was_ better than this. She inhaled deeply, closed her eyes, centred herself. 'Perhaps we should go.' Luke sounded tired. Had been tired for quite some time. She was drawing memories out of him he didn't want to confront. 'I should see my sister.' They both looked down at the Millennium Falcon, lights glowing from within, reflecting on a calm ocean. 

'My training?'

'I've done as much as I can,' he shook his head. 'The rest is up to you.' 

 

\---

 

They'd moved on some time ago, the planet D'Qar now a desolate shell. Luke had insisted on moving on after them. He could feel her, feel his sister, and eagerly Chewie had followed his old comrades advice. Rey simply piloted them to where they wanted to be. To a new planet, still lush green, with hidden dens of Resistance fighters and weaponry. 

Finn was gone. She could feel it before she landed. 

BB8 was gone.

General Organa stood waiting for them, her eyes sad as Luke approached her. They embraced silently, almost awkwardly. Her nod of thanks was brief to Rey, before the two siblings vanished into the underground network. 

No one could tell her where her friends had gone. 

Top secret mission.

We can't tell you.

I'm sorry Rey, that's classified.

The anger still churned in her gut and suddenly she wanted to be home. Her feet in the sand, scrubbing junk, starving every other night, etching marks in a wall for a person that would never claim her. That had been her life, and why shouldn't it be now? How could she possibly be a Jedi when her first true friends were hidden from her and her Master barely wanted to look her in the face?

She was granted permission for a ship, so she could sit in space and focus without the Resistance interfering with her. 

Luke had looked at her strangely, but said nothing. He had let her go. Even though he knew. 

 

\---

 

She flew for days, she knew the way, although her navigational system didn't seem to want to go there.

Jakku.

Why couldn't it be home? Her birth home had been a desert planet, what was another?

Rey did meditate, that much hadn't been a lie. She meditated on her life, on her decisions, on how she'd gotten here. Misguided dreams of being a hero, of being the one to find the fabled Skywalker. How those dreams had fallen with Han Solo. The anger burned hot and bright. Fallen with him into a doomed planet. The sound of the lightsabers, the cry of pain from a friend in need, the heat of the weapon in her hand, pulsating in her grip. And him.

A spark, wildfire, ripping through her consciousness, tearing her out of her reverie. 

She felt him.

And he felt her.

Her fingers flew across the controls. She shouldn't be doing this, not now, not yet, possibly not ever. But she had to. Course changed, she could only sit and wait, the rage festering inside of her.

 

\---

 

She was calm as the vessel landed in a clearing. The planet was uninhabited, save for some rather unintelligent animal life. No name, just a generic identification. She left the ship and walked. Just walked and walked, letting the greenery sap the anger from her. Anger was for the dark side, she should be hopeful, forgiving, generous, kind, noble. A deep breath, the songs of native birds doing little to help soothe her. 

The familiar static of crackling energy.

She hadn't heard the ship land, but perhaps he'd been walking for as long as she had.

Rey turned and faced him, her hands empty.

Kylo Ren glared at her. His face was older, leaner, harder. His black clothes were the same, but his mask was gone, his hair slightly longer, and his saber was a solid beam of pure light. 

'You finished your training.' A statement of fact, she just needed to break the silence between them. How long had it been since they'd stood across from one another? She'd hoped then that he'd die, blood oozing from his gut, lying in the snowbank of a self-destructing world. 

'You haven't finished yours,' he replied easily. Red light splashed across the ground as he step cautiously closer. She shrugged her shoulders. 

'Is there any point?' She pulled the lightsaber from her belt. Luke's lightsaber. She held it out to him. 'You said this was yours?' He frowned at her, face wrinkling in confusion. He could sense no trick or falsehood in her. She was genuinely handing it over.

'What happened to you?' He disengaged his own blade, slipped it back into his belt as he took the proffered one.

'What's the point?' Rey sat, settling herself on the mossy ground. Her companion did not, remaining towering over her, cloak billowing in the slight breeze. 

'Does there have to be a point?' He asked cautiously. He had felt her rage and had called to her. Now she was empty, depleted. 

'We're doomed as long as the Jedi live, don't you see that?' She stared up at him, wanting him to understand that everything they did was destructive. As long as there was a light side there would be a dark, and vice-versa. No one could win this war. No one was supposed to. He stared back, silent for a long time. 

The blue beam burst into existence, strong and vibrant as he spun it with practised ease, sliding the blade through trunks and branches. Ren switched it off, crouched before her and put it in her hands. 

'I can show you, if you want.' She laughed at him, felt the wall of anger smash against her at the perceived insolence. 'Come with me, my Master can show you great things. Join me, we can work together.'

'It's all _pointless_.' She enunciated it carefully. He scowled at her. 

'It's not. We can rule the galaxy together. You're strong, but you haven't finished your training, not yet. Let Snoke guide you. Let ... let me guide you.' His voice changed ever so slightly, vocal chords betraying him. She caught it, studied him closely. And they were close. Very close. He rocked on his haunches almost nervously. 

'Why do we need to be enemies?' She asked softly. 'Your Mother is a great woman, your Father was a great man. They both have their own faults, but who doesn't?' She looked away, looked down at the object in her hands. 'Our families have been friends and enemies for generations now.'

'Families?' He was pressing into her mind, trying to pry the answer out of her.

'Your name sake,' she offered vocally, easily. 'My Grandfather.' The pressure on her mind dropped away and he was in stunned silence. Rey stood, knees cracking as she did so. 'I don't want to be your enemy, Ben. I don't have many friends, and I don't want them to die.'

'Then fight for them.'

'You're so desperate to follow in Vader's footsteps. Why can't you walk your own path? Be your own person?' 

'It's not that easy!' His temper flared, he was on his feet. She pressed a hand to his chest, a flicker of unease running through her. Han Solo had been this close to him and paid the price. Finn. Her. He looked down at her, breathing heavily, dark eyes studying her. 'You've changed.' He finally acknowledged. 'You're not some stupid girl from a backwater planet anymore.'

'No, I'm still her.' A wistful smile.

'You're going back there.' He was dumbfounded, something she seemed to be good at doing to him. 'To Jakku. Why does everyone want to go back there?' 

'Come with me.' She said it suddenly, impulsively, her other hand coming up to grab the front of his shirt. She clutched him tightly, eagerly. 'Come with me to Jakku. Leave all of this behind. Save millions of people a lot of pain and anguish. We don't need to keep doing this. We don't have to keep perpetuating the legacy.' His large hand covered hers, the leather smooth against her skin, warm. 

'I should kill you right now.' He said.

'I know.'

He kissed her instead. Lips soft against hers, tongue warm, breath flush against her cheek.

'Come with me.' She whispered.

'I can't.' He pulled away. The fire in him had gone, his habitual rage extinguished. 'And neither can you. You need to stay and you need to fight.'

'Fight you?'

'Yes.' To beat him. His eyes said it clearly. She looked at his mouth, looked down at the ground. 'Finish your training.' And he was gone, she could feel his presence leave the atmosphere, the sky darkening as she stood and contemplated. Her fingers curled into fists. She licked her lips, brows drawing together in frustration. 

A light was flickering in her shuttle when she returned, night completely enveloping her. A message from the Resistance. Finn was safe. He was back. Come home.

Rey stared at the control board for a long time. 

She set in a course for home.


End file.
